Miscarriage

Well- i will be honest, for me..at times...it is paralyzing. i understand that many women deal with fear in pregnancy but when you have walked through a miscarriage or multiple for that matter,and before that years of infertility, thought everything was great and have been blind sited.... it has the potential to really mess with you. 

. 

So being that i am terrified....i thought a perfect opportunity to tell you i that will  take it day by day. 

i have fully prepared myself to walk into the doctors office and see a little baby with no heartbeat.  

But you know what that is doing?

 it's robbing me of my joy...my excitement for this beautiful life growing in me. 

i will enjoy  the thought of the way that your  body changes perfectly to  accommodate  another.
i will celebrate morning sickness and exhaustion 

if it ends in another loss i will celebrate  three children that we will raise on the other side and know.. that God has a plan even though i don't understand i will trust in Him.